“I`m going to take a break for the weekend. Our conversation yesterday gave me unpleasant feelings. And I have to sit with them for a spell. Please note that this is not weapons-based silence or punishment. My feelings for you haven`t changed – not at all. “If you haven`t done these things, don`t try to have an argument or a difficult conversation,” says Dr. Goldman-Wetzler. Often, the most spiritual thing you can do is not say anything. Sometimes it is better not to offer feedback, to set an example or to defend one`s position.
Being silent can show strength. You won`t always have the answers or resolutions to disagreements, and you can make situations worse by saying too much. 6. Get involved. In these times of intense disagreement, it is not uncommon for one or two parties to have their foot in front of the door. If you really want to get to the heart of the matter, make sure the other person understands your commitment to the relationship. Even if you have a behavioral problem, you need to keep it separate. Conflict exists in all relationships. By conflict, we are talking concretely about verbal disagreements and arguments. People sometimes disagree, and that`s not necessarily a bad thing – you have the right to have a different opinion than your partners.
What is important is to communicate effectively and in a healthy way in order to better understand yourself and strengthen your relationship. This might bring back flashbacks from the debate team, but there`s a reason why “arguing professionally” (if you prefer) has rules: it keeps the debate productive instead of going around in circles, or worse, becoming damaging. You`ve probably made argument mistakes in the past (all couples do) from which you`ve learned, whether it`s a particularly sensitive topic for your partner or a statement you weren`t talking about. Making mistakes is a good thing, because it gives you the basis of possible rules that you can make together to argue better and more effectively. Whether it`s not an interruption or a generalization, think about a number of rules that will help you both disagree productively that don`t cause additional pain. Although no one likes to work on difficult topics, the reality is that all couples argue. It all depends on how you fight. Healthy disagreements that are resolved usually move your marriage forward. The goal should always be to honor and respect your spouse in the cohabitation process.